Cinetopia Review
I took some time off from blogging during the Thanksgiving week and finally got around to check out Cinetopia Theaters, a digital projection only, fine dining, and plush seats theater in Vancouver, WA, right across the river from Portland, OR.
After reader reviews like this, I was more than happy to drive a few miles to check this place out. And what a disappointment it was.
We had decided to arrive early, so we could have some food before watching “Happy Feet” (kids movie, but I am sucker for penguins). While the food was fine, but clearly overpriced for the setting which had zero atmosphere (especially with the clearly bored employees hanging out and gossiping at the table next to ours). The hostess had asked if we were seeing a movie, and when. As we had almost an hour and a half before the movie would start, we were expecting a leisurely experience, with a glass of wine and maybe anther drink or so.
The place was somewhat empty (I know why now), with maybe two other tables occupied and a clearly bored, older gentleman, who did not interact with the rest of the staff, playing piano in the background. This could be a nice setting, weren’t it for the industrial feel because of the high ceilings, the exposed entrances to the cinemas in the back, and guys coming out of the theaters to grab more pitchers of beer. Clearly, Cinetopia aims high, but doesn’t reach those heights, which leads to the disappointment being even more severe. The place wants to be intimate, achieves the opposite. Notice how the picture on the left, which is from the Cinetopia website, makes the place look very nice and elegant – just let me tell you – it is not.
Here is what the Cinetopia website has to say:
DINING ROOM
Our dining room seats 128 people and is filled with ambient colored light from sections of floor to ceiling windows interspersed with colored glass. Original works of art form our gallery artists decorate the walls of the room. Customers are able to interact at their tables with a web based virtual touch screen menu. The menu enlightens customers about our food selections, wine list, movie selections and art exhibits.
There were definitely no touch screen menus, and while the picture shows some nice table cloths, we got paper.
Our waitress was what my brother-in-law called “rudely efficient.” Our interactions with her did not go beyond her asking what we wanted and her putting the plates on the table. She was more interested in chatting with her friends than in dealing with us. After ordering, our food arrived within less than five minutes. Freshly prepared food, which is what I expect for a $12-15 per small plate price, is not prepared in a minute or two, and it was pretty tasteless. The bruschetta consisted of three pieces of bread (not good bread, mind you), one with some tomatoes (not good tomatoes), one with some beans, and one with a spread we could not quite hammer down. The stacked shrimp were somewhat okay at best, but cold, the grilled chicken didn’t seem to have been grilled at all, but maybe marinated in a grill flavor, and the calamari were greasy and overcooked/fried (or maybe they had been sogging in the frier for too long).
Dinner was over in about twenty minutes. I did not get to voice my opinion about the food to the waitress, because she never asked. I admit that I gave a meager tip (10%), which prompted her to to show the receipt to her colleagues and point at us. Great beginning of the night.
We decided to cruise the neighborhood until the movie began. The theater was fine – nothing spectacular. The clarity of digital is always appreciated, just a shame that one of the speaker crackled throughout the movie. The seats were fine, but not spectacular (at least, no better or possibly even worse than those in an recently opened or renovated cinema I have been in).
My overall verdict: if you really want to see a movie in digital projection, by all means go, just skip the food and drinks. Just buy your tickets, see the movie and leave.